How to Manipulate Your Boyfriend, or, It's Win-Win I Swear!

Sometimes, I can't get ahold of my boyfriend. And so, if also combined with boredom, and a vague need to speak to him as soon as possible, my messages for him end up something like this:

Me: Pudding cup!
Me: you no answer phone!
Me: why you no answer phone!
Me: babe?
Me: yo
Me: wake up
Me: ooooo
Me: that was a ghost
Me: waking you up
Me: ooooo
Me: that was a train
Me: waking you up
Me: i am SO surprised that those did not work
Me: ghosts are very scary
Me: i mean probably, i've never met one
Me: but i bet they are maybe
Me: what with going-through-walls powers
Me: of course
Me: i guess that's only useful if you also have the power of being able to pick things up and carry them through walls
Me: otherwise, you can't really do anything
Me: just go through the wall
Me: and surprise someone
Me: but then what is the poor ghost supposed to do?
Me: just stand there awkwardly?

If allowed to continue, I will, for pages and pages. Which is why, when Dear Darling finally notices the rambling, he immediately calls me. He might be attempting to cut the flow of words that I will probably make him read, but he also manages to do exactly what I wanted to happen. Only now, he ALSO wants it to happen.