Love bastard.

This is Babs.

Babs is a prima donna. He is also fat.

Anytime anyone eats anything, he starts to beg worse than any dog I've met, mewling and rolling on his back trying to look cute.

This is probably because he is currently on a diet.

As he is fat.

It is not entirely his fault. In fact, it is entirely my fault. You see, about a year ago, we got his man-parts removed. Apparently it is now entirely normal to chop bits off of your pets. I can see the convenience-- this is a more accurate picture of what he looked like at 5 months old:

As you can guess, I prefer my current eunuch.

And, if you think about it, most eunuchs get fat, so I think by now it's safe to say that his weight doesn't worry me. What concerns me is that he will only eat kibble. Never a scrap dropped will be eaten, never a can of tuna knocked over while I am trying to make a sandwich, never a bag of jerky broken into.

Now, it's not that he doesn't eat more expensive food. I love that my cat loves the cheap stuff. It's more that, if the world exploded and all the kibble plants were shut down, he would just lay around waiting for someone to shake some into his bowl.

Thankfully, he has recently redeemed himself. Apparently some of his survival instincts are still intact--he will beg for sushi-grade wild-caught salmon.

He wants the quantity of McDonald's burgers, or the quality of Kobe prime rib.

Stuck up little bastard.